Remorse – May 2020

Catherine Heath

May 2020

She breathes life into your shrivelled veins. 

You won’t let her go––

Sad, really.

The world has already ended;

It ended when you left.

Too much of a good thing

Is worse than none.

I found the doctor!

He looks like a criminal,

Smoking, drinking, laughing––

Throw our hands towards the sky––

No one ever told you why,

And that’s okay.

Would I ever lie to you?

We’re best friends, through and through.

No one ever got to you,

But me.

And that’s the way it should be.

I would have cruised;

I had to learn to surf,

And the birth of our children

Means tomorrow is here.

The only thing that holds us back is fear,

And the wolf in sheep’s clothing,

Is our prince in disguise.

The last man has fallen,

And we are in love.

We know when to stop;

We know a good thing

When we see it,

And so we shall sail off into the sunset––

Life’s pirate crew––

I only thought about you.

We were devastating 

(You always knew that).

Don’t be the smartest person in the room––

Be the strongest.

I can wait;

I’ll wait for you.

You’ll drown in grief!

It’s a tsunami,

Washed away by the tide,

But you’ll be by my side.

Stop this now.

Stop this now. 

I’m leaving;

And I won’t come back

(We would welcome that)

But it’s not your choice to make. 

It never was. 

I’m not a poet––

I’m a scientist. 

We’ll do what it takes.

And now we need the engineer. 

It’s not the smartest person;

It’s he who wants it the most,

And I am not a man––

I am a harpy,

A terrifying banshee.

People run from me,

And that’s the way it should be––

Don’t you think?

I’m a princess in a castle,

Waiting for my sister

(She got lost on the way home).

I sent Prince Charming out to get her,

But he looks like the stable boy. 

Enlightenment in Peru;

I’m trying to get to you.

Don’t care what anyone says. 

I love you,

And that’s all there is to it. 

Follow your heart;

Love always shows the way. 

Anything else

Is just a distraction. 

Beware of those

Trying to help.

Follow the monsters––

They always show where the heroes are.

It is bizarre,

But joyful. 

The time to strike is now––

Make hay

(She’s here to stay).

I’ll make every mistake in the book;

I’ll make it for you.

I’ll look like a fool,

And then we’ll walk for two.

The fool is the hero,

But no one can see––

It is your destiny.

They don’t know how to approach:

The answer is


Step forward;

There’s no turning back––

Lies on the welcome mat

Are burning

And we are ecstatic!

Her tentacles around you

Are like fat ropes of jelly;

Break free,

And come to me,

Then you will see

The monster is really a Gorgon,

Bloated and happy,

Feeding on stolen bread.

What are friends for?

We’ll go to hell and back!

And we would welcome that.

What an adventure! 

We cannot rest until it’s through.

That’s why I’m waiting for you.

Set your ego aside,

And your pride. 

Pride comes before a fall,

And I will fall for you. 

You didn’t realise

He was weak;

Weak and fragile as an egg.

I broke him,

And I’m sorry,

But I can get a new one––

You have no more shell

And the mess is not pretty.

Sorry I left;

I’m not a chef––

Just a girl

On a mission.

Can you understand

It wasn’t about you?

I know that we are now through,

But I still like you

(I never told anyone,

Don’t worry,

You’re not a fraud).

The breakup was graceful,

And I’m grateful

I got away––

This life is not today.

I left you in London,

The big smoke,

The burnished buildings,

And the bad poetry.

I knew artists were drawn to London;

I never knew why.

Look up at the pale blue morning sky,

And you’re anywhere

And nowhere

All at once.

You may not understand

But that’s okay,

Because I do––

I was fabulous;

You made me fierce

And I’ll take that. 

You think I’m cruising;

I’m getting ready to surf––

The big waves are coming.

Are you ready?

Because I am.

What’s the worst thing you can imagine?

That’s the opposite of truth. 

Psychopaths are avenging angels;

We shoot them with arrows,

But we find we shot ourselves.

Your eyes,

They hypnotise,

And to my surprise

You exposed the lies. 

I walk with angels;

Always have.

They have murder in their eyes––

That’s how you know

They love you. 

People were draining you.

That’s how we create mental illness. 

It’s all the fault

Of me and you. 

The emperor has no clothes,

And we are in fear.

Shame is my sword

I wield for you––

I know where to strike;

Right in the heart. 

I’m not talking to you!

Don’t interrupt me.

You are just an ant,

And I am a queen.

There are worse things than death,

When she’s not really dead.

You did me a big favour––

I’m eternally grateful,

And I’m sorry I scared you.

Your face is beautiful but cold,

And we don’t love marble––

We love flesh

And blood

And bone.

We’re not alone.

We’re not alone.

We’re not


You’re not my mother!

She was so rude

(And she would never lie to you)

Great art is driven,

Not made.

Now we’ll lie here in the shade––

And wait for the money to roll in. 

I’m not broken;

I’m a girl on a mission.

No one knows the difference.

And that’s how we win the war.

You’re not a scientist.

You’re the engineer.

You’re the surgeon.

She’s born a hero;

You’re called to greatness––

Don’t fuck it up.

Credit: Photo by Anastasia Taioglou on Unsplash