Catherine Heath
May 2020
She needs me so much,
But she doesn’t want to scare me––
So that’s why
She pretends she doesn’t care
(What she should know
Is I will always be there.)
There is potential in you,
To evolve,
To change,
To become the goddess
Every woman would like to be.
I don’t know of a cure
For this disease;
We are all born with gifts,
But we need the right chemistry
(Or we are doomed
To despair).
We didn’t have a name for it;
I just knew you were scared.
Something was wrong,
So I just tried to be there.
Relentlessly positive,
When we should cry,
Rage,
And scream––
Hate the person
That we might have been.
Men shoot each other,
While women slash their wrists,
Or sink pills,
Desperate for truth
(Something)
To feel something,
Anything––
Even excruciating pain
Is better than
A living death.
He never judges me.
He lets me cry,
Scream,
Laugh.
But when I cry too much,
He does something silly
To make me laugh again.
He reminds me so much
Of someone I once knew
(The boy down the road)
My best friend
Who I never knew.
If you see someone hurting,
Don’t try to cheer them up––
Ask them what’s wrong,
And be with them in pain.
It won’t drown you;
Quite the opposite––
You will both come
Alive with joy.
She was my spirit sister;
We sat quietly,
Suffering,
With words no longer needed.
She saw my pain,
And we were alive.
Sometimes we need to leave;
Journey to the bottom of the sea
Where you can’t reach me
(Because that’s the way it must be.)
It’s like the wind,
In the trees––
You can’t feel it
But it’s there,
Always.
Relentless positivity
Is a societal lie,
To keep the drones in chains.
We need to take the reins
When we are in pain.
The truth is,
Your soul is on fire with agony
(And that’s the way it should be).
Your are alive,
And you are free.
Make yourself strong,
And break yourself––
So you can be alone
(But you’re always with me);
A goddess
Among men.
I did everything wrong––
They didn’t know
You were broken,
And I was trying to fix you.
We are all born into grace,
And we fall,
But if we love,
We will always
Get back there again.
You were alive once,
And you were free––
Whatever you did,
Now
Do it consciously.
I’m not running;
I’m searching!
And that’s the way
It will always be.
I knew he was the one.
He looked like a psychopath,
His eyes pinned on me,
And for the first time,
I could not look away.
He didn’t need time to heal;
He was already broken
(We were
Traumatised
By our loss).
Being needed so much
Is very frightening to me;
Luckily
We are two halves of one whole.
I’m scared;
This is alchemy,
And I am no wizard––
Just a goddess
On a mission.
It’s my
Destiny.
He slashed his own skin
In pain––
If there’s one thing I know,
This will not happen
Again.
It’s not a shell––
It’s armour,
To protect against those
Who would bleed us dry,
Quite without meaning to.
Love passionately,
Love true.
It will always
Be me,
And you.
I burn bright,
While he smoulders.
Credit: Photo by Sonnie Hiles on Unsplash
